Resist
I was scrolling through the Occupy Democrats page, so I know what to think and stay informed on any particular issue from a Americanocentric neoliberal lens (liberalism is grounded in reality, after all), and eating my vegan chicken, when anger overtook me. Apparently, a 17 year old MAGA Nazi looks like he’s going to be acquitted after machine gunning down half a dozen black people in the back while they were peacefully protesting in Kenosha, with an AK-15 style weapon which was provided to him illegally by Russia. I flew into a rage and I spilled my chai half-and-half over my MacBook. I don’t have warranty, but if I tell them that white supremacists assaulted me with hot coffee for being Jewish, then they’ll probably do it for free.
While no human is illegal, he clearly crossed state lines, which means he loses any right to defend himself. I’m not a legal expert, but since the media is suggesting that he is in the wrong, they’re surely right. Self-defence with a gun isn’t real, because anyone who owns a gun outside of the military is a potential mass shooter. Like the insurgents who nearly overthrew the US government on January 6th, or ISIS-K who are projected to attack the US in exactly 9 months and 24 days, he should be punished severely.
The Resistance, a movement that is based on the noble ideas of Hollywood’s progressive popular culture, should forcefully suppress dissent. We have no room for hatred or intolerance, not anywhere on this Earth. We have to purge these harmful thoughts from people’s minds through firm reeducation, and thus make the world a little safer.
We welcome everyone from all walks of life (would appreciate if LGBTQA+ and People of Color talked more though), as long as they don’t spread misinformation. I’m a fact-checker in my spare time, so I pore over everything, and be pedantic as possible to make sure that everyone gets their views from a reliable news source. But the real honour goes to journalists, who are braver than the marines.
Every journalist who is aligned with me is honest and righteous. They are all just like Julian Assange, and I know that they would stand up for the principles of our democracy when it is in danger out of pure altruism. They don’t have any ulterior motives, and those who are financing us – who cares who they are, anyway? - just want the best for us. It’s the other side who is feeding into a controlled and carefully curated narrative.
Mr. Binger, the state attorney in this trial, was wearing a Rebel Alliance pin, and a Millenium falcon pin. This is how I know he’s a good guy driven by good things, and a judge screaming at him only goes to show how noble he is. Love will win out in the end, and hate won’t.
I’m Baby Yoda. I’m Harry Potter. I’m Rey. I’m one of the Avengers. I’m a key general in the Rebellion. I’m with the media, who help us resist the oppressive, white supremacist fascists. I trust CNN. I love MSNBC. CBC is my go-to news source. The BBC keeps me informed. We don’t have any sort of institutional support and all narratives are organic. This is how I know that we are on the right side of history. One day, we will have institutional control and save the world. Until then, we will keep resisting.