What do men need the most in life? There have been many answers posited to this question, of varying levels of simplicity and complexity.
Men ultimately need direction in life above all else. While this is closely related to purpose, as it is more common to hear that one needs a purpose above direction. Instead, direction comes with the territory of purpose. Some may say this as vice-versa, as in, purpose gives one direction. And that is not necessarily contradictory. But men don’t need purpose to go on and live life. The illusion of having purpose is more important to keep a man going, than any legitimacy of an actual purpose. Nonetheless, direction and purpose, or some semblance of it, go hand in hand, and therefore the discussion of one should involve the other in some capacity.
A purpose being “legitimate”, or not, is far more nebulous subjectively than the presence or absence of direction. What our calling during our time spent in life is, is far more debatable than whether if someone knows where they are headed or not. For instance, one may believe their calling is to serve God, raise a family, better a community that they are part of, but the ways to best go about this are not something universally applicable to everyone, all the time. Even if morality is objective, the way to best ago about something is not always applicable or suitable. Human capabilities and skills take various shades, as well as do our attitudes towards certain things, through both our personal perceptions and societal codes.
Therefore, a purpose, e.g., “I am to follow God’s will [without taking into account specifics or particular interpretations of it]”, does not intrinsically provide a sense of direction. Does it mean one will enter the clergy, or living in another manner that they believe God desires? Where does this decision to go in a certain direction come from? Rather, anytime we go in a certain direction, we close certain paths to ourselves. This is the mere nature of making decisions.
More anecdotally, I find myself most excited and anxious when I feel as though I have something meaningful to look forward. There aren’t too many instances of this in my own life, especially as I’ve grown older, but it is there. When I am no longer able to look forward to this, I am disappointed and return to a more wandering baseline, which is like a floating droplet in a stormcloud, waiting to fall upon a particular destination. Maybe I’ve want to go somewhere, or get to know a person who is interesting to me better, for instance. There’s a lingering sad disappointment about what could have been, but in my case, I miss the sense of direction that comes with it, moreso than any actual person, destination, or activity.
But there’s also a sense of relief from anxiety about the future when I know that opportunity or possibility is gone. It’s different from the monotony on my life, which at times veers dangerously close to apathy.
You see this attitude implicitly betraying a lack of direction in those online who think all there is to life than getting wasted regularly, smoking marijuana and having promiscuous sex, particularly of the non-procreative kind. Or, things in a similar vein. It’s not that I am demanding people stop these things now – not that I have the power to do so anyway - but rather that people should recognize these things are distractions detached from both purpose and direction. To be fair, all entertainment is a form of distraction, even the ones with a social aspect, and I do partake in various distractions. Of course, some is healthier and more beneficial than others.
I bring this up as I saw a recent discussion between a more austere dissident right-wing group vs. more faux-apathetic left-wingers. The left-wingers could not understand why the right-wingers did not care to see the things they lauded recreationally as having higher purpose, and told them to “touch grass” and made fun of their social standing such as having no friends and that they are “too online”. This is all the while pretending to be part of a “normal” well-adjusted demographic that they are only tangentially related to. If you talk about a class revolution with your “comrades” while functionally being the Neoliberal World Order’s bitch, despite any objections to the contrary, you’re not fooling anyone but your friends. Those who you are making fun as being out of touch are far more aware about their actual place in society, regardless if you don’t understand why it’s so funny to them to call themselves Hitler’s Top Guy™.
The right-wingers, at times, seemed to not recognize that they both lacked purpose and direction, while at the same time, only they were cognizant enough to recognize they their own group lacked those things, but wanted them, while the other were either too lobotomized or pretended that they don’t care for a higher purpose.
Clearly, both groups experience some form of misery due to lack of meaningful direction, but for much different reasons. However, only one is truthful about it, while the other resorted to detachment. Also, the RW experience was centered around powerlessness, societal circumstances and trends making them unhappy with life, “these specific groups did this and made this society a husk and there is little I can do about it” while the LW attitude was more existentially despondent “life intrinsically sucks, let’s engage in sensory pleasures to cope.”
The last thing I will add is that boys, as opposed to men, do not need really need purpose or direction, if their curiosity is fostered properly. That can, and should, come later in life. They tend to be vagrants intellectually, still getting a feel for life. One should not torment children with questions such as “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
The earliest career I remember wanted was an archaeologist in 2nd grade. I still think it’s cool, even if I’ve moved in a very different direction. However, kids do not understand the concept of a “career”. Hell, I understand the concept of the career, but most careers sound incredibly unappealing to me, especially as a focal point in my life. Starting and stopping when they feel like it is instinctive to a child.
What separates a boy from a man, is the latter’s desire for purpose and direction. Boys, if their life affords this comfort, see the future as a distant dream that is difficult to understand. They’re always looking at it when they see what adults have become, but it’s not something they can truly comprehend until they get there themselves. Boys will not become miserable when the future to them is like silly putty, morphing into whatever they think of on a whim. So many possibilities seem open. Into adulthood, the realization sets in that it is not that easy, some bridges cannot ever be gapped. If we could do anything we wanted to, the very concept and meaning of direction would be obsolete.
"The right-wingers, at times, seemed to not recognize that they both lacked purpose and direction, while at the same time, only they were cognizant enough to recognize they their own group lacked those things, but wanted them"//
I believe the only ones who realized this were cancelled as incels by both the RW and LW alike.